Bob Barker and the Policeman
Bob Barker was belated on his way to the Price Is Right. He was late because of the outlandish adventure of selling hamster steak on the street. But then a policeman came and cited from the book of laws, "That is illegal to sell hamster meat on Tuesday." Then to mediate the problem Bob Barker said, "Can we sell hamster meat on a fishing boat?" Ensuing that the policeman said, "You just violated Law 99, the punishment is to be hanged by your fingers with fish hooks, and then to be beaten with candy canes." To appease the policeman he said, "I will give you a block of Limburger cheese if you beat me with a piece of roadkill like raccoons or unwanted toasters. The policeman did not agree and attempted to attack Bob Barker. Then Bob Barker gallantly kicked the policeman in the shins and the jumped onto his hovercraft and flew away. But as he was flying the policeman threw a hobo's knife of death. Then Bob Barker died happily ever after.
THE END
May 23, 2007
Unicorns
Contrary to to what you believe, unicorns are evil. They are not as personable or whimsical as you may think, because they are known to have a voracious appetite for ferrets. You will rue ever seeing a swarm of teeming unicorns, as their curt sounds used as communication and caustic, acidic breath are signs of an impending pain to be bestowed upon you, while they attack in accord with a plot the herd devised once they sensed your presense. It is a deadly, but effective ruse, used to capture prey. Do not scoff, as this threat entails upon you.
THE END
Contrary to to what you believe, unicorns are evil. They are not as personable or whimsical as you may think, because they are known to have a voracious appetite for ferrets. You will rue ever seeing a swarm of teeming unicorns, as their curt sounds used as communication and caustic, acidic breath are signs of an impending pain to be bestowed upon you, while they attack in accord with a plot the herd devised once they sensed your presense. It is a deadly, but effective ruse, used to capture prey. Do not scoff, as this threat entails upon you.
THE END
Zombies
The insane zombies rose from their disturbed graves. They slowly searched for victims to slaughter for food. They find the people the want devower slowly from head to toe. Pandemonium arises and terror streaks the town in a endless pool of pure red blood and limbs. The zombies then feasted on the victims brains. Military officiers finally come to the rescue. They use their massive flamethrowers. The zombies burn to the ground in burning inferno of rotten flesh. All remains are destroyed and all the towns graveyards are filled to the brim.
THE END
The insane zombies rose from their disturbed graves. They slowly searched for victims to slaughter for food. They find the people the want devower slowly from head to toe. Pandemonium arises and terror streaks the town in a endless pool of pure red blood and limbs. The zombies then feasted on the victims brains. Military officiers finally come to the rescue. They use their massive flamethrowers. The zombies burn to the ground in burning inferno of rotten flesh. All remains are destroyed and all the towns graveyards are filled to the brim.
THE END
Halloween
On Halloween I am doing something weird and obscure, like watching The Minion Bird of Darkness. Then the bird attacked and bit my head off. I writhed in pain while my head screamed random things like, " I want a buttercup!!!" and " I love China!!!" My mom came out from my house wondering what was going on. She saw me lying on the ground dead. She looked up to the sky and felt fear when she saw the bird flying and straight toward her. Then it swooped down and pecked through her skull and devowered her eyeballs and her brain.
THE END
On Halloween I am doing something weird and obscure, like watching The Minion Bird of Darkness. Then the bird attacked and bit my head off. I writhed in pain while my head screamed random things like, " I want a buttercup!!!" and " I love China!!!" My mom came out from my house wondering what was going on. She saw me lying on the ground dead. She looked up to the sky and felt fear when she saw the bird flying and straight toward her. Then it swooped down and pecked through her skull and devowered her eyeballs and her brain.
THE END
The Thieves
A defect in the security system allowed the overly-armed, blood thirsty thieves to go forthright into the artillary vault. As they were leaving they found a group of people who were instilled with fear. Then they shoved a scapegoat forward to make a distraction so they could escape. Then they went back into town and flaunted all their findings. They basked in the glory of everyone else toward him. Then they were ostracized from their town and then decided to purge their wrong doing. Then they shot the town folk with his AK-47 and was sentanced to the death penalty.
THE END
A defect in the security system allowed the overly-armed, blood thirsty thieves to go forthright into the artillary vault. As they were leaving they found a group of people who were instilled with fear. Then they shoved a scapegoat forward to make a distraction so they could escape. Then they went back into town and flaunted all their findings. They basked in the glory of everyone else toward him. Then they were ostracized from their town and then decided to purge their wrong doing. Then they shot the town folk with his AK-47 and was sentanced to the death penalty.
THE END
Tommy B. Gallery
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy B
by Tommy BMay 21, 2007
May 18, 2007
May 10, 2007
The War
The countries made an armistace to gratify the people and estrange from war. But instead of keeping their promise Megan ran in the opposing country and ransacked the people their. She had made a plan to obliterate the infinite donut factories. So the arrogant country then sent a bomb down to explode and destroy everything. Then a spaceship of mutant demonized squirrels came to the country and devowered an enormity of the humans and burned the rest in an inferno of burning flesh.
THE END
The countries made an armistace to gratify the people and estrange from war. But instead of keeping their promise Megan ran in the opposing country and ransacked the people their. She had made a plan to obliterate the infinite donut factories. So the arrogant country then sent a bomb down to explode and destroy everything. Then a spaceship of mutant demonized squirrels came to the country and devowered an enormity of the humans and burned the rest in an inferno of burning flesh.
THE END
The Snowman
Most common belief disclaims that night is dark. There is more infinite darkness. This darkness is known as Jerry Springer. Jerry's aura amplifies death and causes buildings to collapse into ruins. Then the abominable snowman came and dismembered Jerry and everything around him. Then Yeti was irascible and a vampire. It sprang at a vendor while shouting,"Chipmunks in a blender!!!" and bit him on the left nostril.
THE END
Most common belief disclaims that night is dark. There is more infinite darkness. This darkness is known as Jerry Springer. Jerry's aura amplifies death and causes buildings to collapse into ruins. Then the abominable snowman came and dismembered Jerry and everything around him. Then Yeti was irascible and a vampire. It sprang at a vendor while shouting,"Chipmunks in a blender!!!" and bit him on the left nostril.
THE END
The Time Machine
Mr. Shortstack was an arrogant vendor. He sold bland food and he was very irascible. His job was very tedious and he had no kindred friends. But one day he found a time machine and went back into the time of the caveman. There he saw Megan as a caveman as she tried to gratify her need for food by dinosaur hunting. So she got the local vendors femur and ran out slashing wildly at the wild hamsters. But she tripped and impaled herself upon a porcupine. So then the vendor took back his femur and did his ritual dance to bring back Megan as a chipmunk.
THE END
Mr. Shortstack was an arrogant vendor. He sold bland food and he was very irascible. His job was very tedious and he had no kindred friends. But one day he found a time machine and went back into the time of the caveman. There he saw Megan as a caveman as she tried to gratify her need for food by dinosaur hunting. So she got the local vendors femur and ran out slashing wildly at the wild hamsters. But she tripped and impaled herself upon a porcupine. So then the vendor took back his femur and did his ritual dance to bring back Megan as a chipmunk.
THE END
The Bigfoot Encounter
The forlorned man was walking through the woods when he began to falter because of the enormity of the Bigfoot infront of him. Bigfoot had a bland pizza in his mouth and a vendor's arm in his hand. Bigfoot tried to obliterate mankind. He began to ransack my campsite for people. I tried to make an armistace with him. But he was being naive and selfish and ran after Megan because she was running into a niche close by Bigfoot. Megan became irascible and bit him on the foot. Then a demonized toaster came out of the darkness and toasted Megan and everyone in a 20 foot radius.
THE END
The forlorned man was walking through the woods when he began to falter because of the enormity of the Bigfoot infront of him. Bigfoot had a bland pizza in his mouth and a vendor's arm in his hand. Bigfoot tried to obliterate mankind. He began to ransack my campsite for people. I tried to make an armistace with him. But he was being naive and selfish and ran after Megan because she was running into a niche close by Bigfoot. Megan became irascible and bit him on the foot. Then a demonized toaster came out of the darkness and toasted Megan and everyone in a 20 foot radius.
THE END
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